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Auteur Sujet: Permission to Survive By progressivedefence - Joe Saunders  (Lu 1685 fois)

27 juin 2010 à 10:52:56
Lu 1685 fois

** Serge **


http://progressivedefence.com/articles/permission-to-survive/

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What is the single most important trait one can possess to survive a violent attack?

Strength?
Cardiovascular fitness?
Courage?
A black belt in a martial art system?

All of these will help, but they are far from the most important part of survival. It may sound silly, but the single greatest trait you can possess to survive violence is the determination – not just the will, but the determination – to survive. A true survival mentality means that failure, defeat, and in this case death, are simply not an option. It is the outright refusal to become a victim, a number, a statistic. It is putting yourself and your right to life above any other consideration or preconceived obligation. This is particularly an issue for women.

While researching for my Rape Prevention seminar, I had the unenviable and sometimes traumatic task of studying several detailed accounts written by some very brave rape survivors. These accounts often went past a physical description of events to detail the psychological processes and thoughts that went through these women’s minds during the ordeal. What was perhaps most disturbing was the number of women that did not fight back during the assault purely because they didn’t want to cause a conflict.

They didn’t want to be rude.

They were being raped, in some cases beaten, and they were concerned about causing a conflict? It sounds ludicrous, but unfortunately this victim mentality, this desire to placate and be polite, is ingrained in women from childhood. Our society conditions women to be pleasant at all costs, to “not cause a fuss” and, in short, take what comes their way. This conditioned attitude of compliance robs women of their rights and their freedom. In effect, it is telling women “Your rights and your wants are not as important as those of the man who is raping you.” Does this sound ridiculous to anyone else?

By being truly committed to your own safety, by giving yourself permission to do whatever is necessary to survive, to remove these shackles. It’s not enough to say “I would do it if I had to.” You have to be able to visualize it. To smell it. To feel it. To taste it. It has to be real to you. You have to know with every part of your being that if someone were trying to take your quality of life from you that you would rip, gouge, b!te, claw, tear and maul to ensure your survival. There must be no question about it.

What most people don’t consider when thinking about self defence and their own pre-conceived moral limitations regarding violence, is that it’s not just your own life that you are defending. You are defending the quality of life of your children, your parents, your spouse, your friends and anyone else that cares for you or depends on you. If you’re not prepared to fight for your own life, are you at least prepared to fight for theirs?

Many women in particular develop a form of martyr syndrome. They will gladly put their own health, happiness and comfort secondary to that of their family, especially their children. This is admirable, no doubt. However, when I ask these women whether they could imagine maiming or killing someone to save their own life, the majority will be shocked and answer no. When I ask if they could imagine doing the same to protect their child, without hesitation nearly all of them will say yes. I then follow up with another question: “What happens to your child if you die?”

I was once told a story that illustrates this point. A woman came home from picking up her 10-year-old daughter from school. When she let herself into her apartment, her estranged ex-boyfriend was waiting for her, and he was there to kill her. The second she walked in the door, he attacked her with the crowbar he had used to break in. She fell to the ground in the fetal position, begging for her life while he continued yelling abuse and striking her with the weapon. The little girl, hysterical, grabbed at the man and tried to pull him away from her mother. The man, in a fit of rage, struck the girl across the face with his fist and threw her to the ground. Seeing her daughter in danger, the woman was able to “flick the switch” and attack her ex with such ferocity that she bit the tip of his finger off and significantly scratched up his face. The man panicked under the frenzied assault and fled. Despite the woman’s significant injuries including multiple broken bones, she was still able to inflict enough damage on her attacker to survive the altercation. All it took was the trigger of recognizing that her daughter’s life was also in danger.

Perhaps the most important point is that until she recognized the danger to her daughter, she did not attempt to fight back. She had fallen into the role of victim and would likely have been killed had it not been for her daughter’s intervention. This is a classic example of a woman placing more value on the life of her child than of her own, which to some degree is a natural maternal instinct. However, what would happen to that little girl if her mother was killed because she couldn’t bring herself to fight back? What if her ex-boyfriend decided he couldn’t leave a witness? Even if he had simply fled after the crime, what horrible psychological traumas would have been inflicted on that poor girl having watched as her mother was beaten to death? It’s not all about you. Everything we do, and everything that happens to us, has a ripple effect far beyond our control.

Through education, correct training and appropriate support, I firmly believe that all people – men, women and children – can be empowered to make the choice to live. Regardless of societal conditioning, martyristic tendencies, or individual personality differences, every person has it in them on a primal level to access their survival instincts; if not for ourselves, then for the ones we love. We must make a commitment to our lives. We must give ourselves permission to survive.

Progressive Defence
Self Perfection through Self-Protection ©


"The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of your communication with yourself and others." - Anthony Robbins
http://jahozafat.com/0029585851/MP3S/Movies/Pulp_Fiction/dicks.mp3
"Communications without intelligence is noise; Intelligence without communications is irrelevant." ~ Gen. Alfred. M. Gray, USMC

27 juin 2010 à 12:19:59
Réponse #1

Patrick


A méditer encore et encore :

What is the single most important trait one can possess to survive a violent attack?

Strength?
Cardiovascular fitness?
Courage?
A black belt in a martial art system?

All of these will help, but they are far from the most important part of survival. It may sound silly, but the single greatest trait you can possess to survive violence is the determination – not just the will, but the determination – to survive. A true survival mentality means that failure, defeat, and in this case death, are simply not an option.


Je me permets juste de traduire la dernière phrase pour les anglophobes car elle est juste essentielle :

Une réelle mentalité de survivant veut dire que l'echec, la défaite, ne sont tout simplement pas une option envisageable en situation de risque vital.

Merci beaucoup Serge. Serge est un serial sniper de pépites depuis.............ouf, bien longtemps  ;)

 


Keep in mind

Bienveillance, n.f. : disposition affective d'une volonté qui vise le bien et le bonheur d'autrui. (Wikipedia).

« [...] ce qui devrait toujours nous éveiller quant à l'obligation de s'adresser à l'autre comme l'on voudrait que l'on s'adresse à nous :
avec bienveillance, curiosité et un appétit pour le dialogue et la réflexion que l'interlocuteur peut susciter. »


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